Al Fatihah

for the second time in this year
i lost another beloved cousin
he's a year older than me.
few years back,he suffered minor brain tumor which if im not mistaken had been successfully cured.
the very last time we met was during hari raya.
and yeah that time he dont really look as healthy as before
but we dont expect it was our last raya with him.
may gad bless u Ridhwan
God loves u more

Al-Fatihah


now i realized that death not only come to those who are 60 and above
even when you are enjoying your teenage life
he might just instruct the malaikat maut to take u back.

sometimes-especially during exams
i'll always pray that there are no "emergency cases" will happen
because i cant/dont know how to manage my emotion when facing situation like this
im totally weak inside

and sometimes
i do think to just leave behind my dream on pursuing my study abroad
what if when i am thousand miles away
and something-that-i-wish-will-never-happen really happen to me,to my family
OMG.God please take that away from me
from my family
let us live peacefully
together ever after and after.